Insecure Leaders in the Church: 10 Toxic Signs and Their Cure

Introduction: A Necessary Clarification

Insecure leaders are dangerous to any organization. They are especially hazardous in church settings.

A quick clarification is necessary. Every leader has areas of insecurity, and every leader experiences seasons of insecurity that are not permanent. These seasons are often the result of traumatic circumstances, exhaustion, or displacement into a new role, position, or environment.

This article is not addressing those moments.

This article addresses chronic, toxic insecurity in leaders.

Toxically insecure leaders destroy lives, organizations, and nearly everything they touch if they do not recognize their internal condition and correct it. Their insecurity does not remain private—it metastasizes into systems, relationships, and culture.

If you are a leader, check yourself for the symptoms below. Better yet, ask your spouse or someone you respect if they see any of these patterns in you. If you do identify with some of them, it does not have to be terminal. You can adjust, grow, change, and become a truly dynamic leader. Facing our flaws is never easy, but it yields lasting fruit.

If you are concerned that someone close to you may be a toxically insecure leader, understand this: such leaders will usually display three or more of these symptoms consistently. Do not misdiagnose someone who occasionally exhibits one or two. However, if you find yourself serving under a toxically insecure leader, wisdom may require distance when possible. Otherwise, you may be pulled into their injurious cycle—either as a collaborator or a casualty.

King Saul is a prime biblical example of a toxically insecure leader. He was anointed, impressive, gifted, and widely admired. Yet his unrestrained insecurity—particularly jealousy—turned his heart against David. Saul’s inner disorder led to outward destruction. When leaders like Saul surrender to insecurity, they unleash a whirlwind of damage. It does not have to be that way.

Below are ten common symptoms of toxically insecure leadership, followed by a corresponding prescription for each.

1. Insecure Leaders Are Easily Offended

Insecure leaders are not only offended by genuine affronts; they are angered by a seemingly endless list of perceived slights. They routinely feel disrespected, attacked, taunted, or rejected—even when no offense was intended.

This posture reveals selfishness as the deeper character flaw. Because insecure leaders view everything through the lens of self, they interpret others’ actions as personal attacks. As a result, they speak against their real or imagined offenders and often embark on prolonged crusades to demand respect or diminish those who fail to admire them.

The Prescription for Easily Offended Leaders

Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.
Proverbs 19:11

We overcome offense by lifting our eyes to God. The apostle Peter teaches that enduring offense—especially unjust offense—is honorable when we are mindful of God (1 Peter 2:19). His readers faced far harsher trials than most Western believers, including abuse, ridicule, and persecution (1 Peter 2:20; 4:4, 12).

Learning to overlook significant offenses begins with forgiving small ones. Enduring slander starts with enduring a sarcastic remark. Being mindful of God in everyday offenses trains us to trust Him when greater trials come.

The daggers others throw your way will become, in God’s hand, chisels to fashion you into the image of Christ.
—Scott Hubbard

God sees every offense (Hebrews 4:13), will settle every offense (Romans 12:19), and can satisfy us amid offense (Isaiah 58:11). When offended, we are tempted to seek satisfaction through bitterness, retaliation, or self-justification. Only God can truly fill us with joy unspeakable and full of glory (1 Peter 1:8).

We rise above offense by looking up to God.

2. Insecure Leaders Pass the Blame

Confident leaders accept responsibility for their mistakes. Insecure leaders find creative ways to deflect blame. They pass responsibility to anyone or anything available.

Because insecure leaders refuse to acknowledge their failures, they never correct them. Meanwhile, those forced to absorb blame on their behalf are wounded deeply, creating instability, turnover, and distrust among their teams.

At the root of blame-shifting lie pride and ego. Passing the buck ends only when pride is uprooted and humility takes its place.

The Prescription for Blame-Passing Leaders

For each will have to bear his own load.
Galatians 6:5

God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Scripture does not merely diagnose pride; it prescribes its cure:

Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you… Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you.
James 4:8–10 (ESV)

3. Insecure Leaders Tear Other People Down

Insecure leaders often undermine others verbally—rarely to their faces, but frequently behind their backs. They disguise criticism as concern while subtly dismantling perceived competition.

Talented, gifted, or well-liked individuals threaten insecure leaders, who then work to diminish them through clever belittlement.

The Prescription for People-Bashing Leaders

No one has ever made himself look great by showing how small someone else is.
—Irvin Himmel

People quickly recognize manipulative criticism. But more importantly, Scripture warns against corrupt speech:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths… and do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.
Ephesians 4:29–30

To grieve the Spirit is to invite divine discipline. Wisdom—and fear of God—demands that leaders build others up rather than tear them down.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31–32

4. Insecure Leaders Avoid Necessary Risk

Insecurity often manifests as paralyzing risk aversion. This one can be tricky to spot because caution is sometimes wisdom. However, healthy leadership requires stepping out in faith from time to time. Risk is unavoidable in building, growing, and advancing what God has entrusted to a leader.

Insecure leaders consistently avoid these necessary steps of faith to the detriment of the people depending on them. They delay decisions, hesitate at pivotal moments, and choose comfort over calling. Over time, their fear quietly becomes the organization’s ceiling.

The Prescription for Fearful Leaders

If the fear of loss conquers me, the reality of failure will consume me.
—Michael Dooley

I sought the Lord, and He heard me and delivered me from all my fears.
Psalm 34:4

The prescription for fearful leadership is God-centered leadership. Leaders who pursue God and strive to follow His direction are delivered from fear and filled with confidence. It may sound simplistic, but it is not. God knows the future, and those who walk closely with Him are guided into it.

Great leaders are not without concerns, but their faith in God overwhelms their fear.

5. Insecure Leaders Attack Questioners

Confident leaders welcome questions because they relish the opportunity to cast vision and clarify direction. Insecure leaders often interpret questions as insults to their intelligence and authority. As a result, they may berate, avoid, or ignore questioners—even those closest to them.

The Prescription for Leaders Who Attack Questioners

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak…
James 1:19

Listening is one of leadership’s most valuable skills. Leaders who shut down questions rob themselves of insight. Allowing others to speak does not mean you must accept their counsel, but you should hear it. Listening helps leaders anticipate problems, understand trends, identify needs, and inspire loyalty.

6. Insecure Leaders Rarely Offer Thanks or Congratulations

To the insecure leader, saying thank you implies they needed help. Complimenting someone else can feel like spotlighting a rival. So they do neither. Over time, their team feels disrespected, unseen, and unappreciated.

The Prescription for Leaders Who Rarely Offer Thanks or Congratulations

You’ll never be great and ungrateful at the same time.
—Unknown

Learning to express gratitude and honor others is a sign of strength, not weakness. It lifts morale, strengthens loyalty, and increases productivity. Try it and you will see immediate positive results.

Pay to all what is owed to them… respect… honor…
Romans 13:7 (ESV)

7. Insecure Leaders Take Credit for Others’ Work or Ideas

A strong leader takes blame and gives credit. A weak leader gives blame and takes credit.
—John Wooden

Insecure leaders may steal ideas or claim credit for others’ accomplishments. Leaders willing to do this have allowed insecurity to turn them into liars and frauds. This is beyond unhealthy—it is venomous. Such leaders cannot be trusted.

The Prescription for Leaders Who Take Credit for Others’ Work or Ideas

It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets the credit.
—Harry S. Truman

A leader willing to lie and steal must repent before God and make it right with those harmed (Matthew 5:23–24). James condemns this selfish ambition with sober language:

James 3:14–18 (ESV)
14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

8. Insecure Leaders Shoot Down Good Ideas

When insecure leaders are presented with good—or even great—ideas, they often shoot them down (or steal them). They cannot tolerate someone else having a better solution. This harms everyone by stifling creativity, ingenuity, and momentum.

If a leader consistently shoots down good ideas without reasonable explanation, they are leading from insecurity. If they provide clear, plausible reasons, they may simply be exercising discernment.

The Prescription for Leaders Who Shoot Down Good Ideas

Scripture emphasizes the value of wise counsel (Proverbs 11:14; 12:15; 15:22; 20:18). Great leaders break the habit of needing to be the smartest person in the room. Strong organizations are built on the collective wisdom of the body.

9. Insecure Leaders Run from Needed Confrontation

Most people dislike confrontation, but insecure leaders often take avoidance to an extreme. They delegate hard conversations to others or leave issues unresolved to avoid discomfort. Over time, this undermines trust and stability.

The Prescription for Confrontation-Avoiding Leaders

Peace is not the absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.
—Ronald Reagan

Healthy confrontation aims to be assertive, not aggressive. At the root of chronic avoidance is fear of rejection. That fear must be confronted or it will eventually devour the leader and damage the team.

10. Insecure Leaders Are Easily Flattered

A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.
Proverbs 29:5

Flattery is a lie masquerading as encouragement, driven by selfish motives. Whether or not flattering words contain truth, their aim is manipulation. Insecure leaders love the buzz of flattery because it temporarily inflates a wounded ego.

The Prescription for Easily Flattered Leaders

The trouble with most of us is that we’d rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.
—Norman Vincent Peale

Leaders must value truth over ego. Be wary of excessive praise, discount those who tear others down to build you up, and confront the love of flattery in your own heart. When leaders recognize their vulnerability to manipulation, they begin developing immunity to it.

Conclusion: The Way Forward

Insecurity itself is not sin. Unrepented insecurity that governs leadership is destructive.

Like Saul, leaders who refuse to confront insecurity eventually lose the authority they are trying to protect. But it does not have to end that way. God gives grace to the humble. Leaders can repent, recalibrate, and recover—becoming safe, steady, life-giving shepherds.

Toxic insecurity is not a life sentence—but it must be faced.